THE CHRONICLES OF LARRY: SEASON ONE
The book definitely NOT written by Sloane Howell and his seester…
The book your mother would NOT want you to read…
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Created by: Seymour Snatch and Seester McSeesterson
WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING ABOUT LARRY
“This book made me want to expel my lunch, and should never have been penned.” – Honore de Ballsack
“The Chronicles of Larry is a juvenile telling of a vile creature that never met an object at which he wouldn’t shake his testicles.” – Vladimir Grabacock
Allegedly based on a true story (this cannot be confirmed nor denied)…
Many moons ago in a seedy alley that cut through the heart of Toledo, Ohio, Seester McSeesterson and Seymour Snatch stumbled on their way to a hotel room from an evening of drunken debauchery. In that moment, Seester noticed a leather bound journal illuminated by the bright moonlight next to a dumpster.
She never knew that when she opened it their lives would be forever changed. Contained therein was a journal of a man named Larry. For hours they poured over tale after tale of revenge of the highest order, the ultimate in chicanery, and lived out a romance for the ages, coupled with the most electrifying profane lexicon either of them had ever bore witness to.
They searched for years trying to locate this rockstar of revenge and purveyor of profanity, only to come up empty in every search. Soon after, they decided it would be selfish to keep to themselves this epic saga of one man’s transformation from every day office drone to freedom and f*ckery. So they transcribed his journal in order to release it to the world.
You should NOT read this book. This book contains the most offensive stories of all time and should be banned worldwide. Seymour and Seester are not responsible for any material contained herein and are merely vessels transporting these stories to the masses. Please proceed with extreme caution. You have been warned.
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
When Seymour is not writing stories of c*nt f*cking and debauchery he enjoys growing jalapeno peppers in the shapes of dicks. He has also mastered the craft of urinating from towering heights. Nicknamed Niagara Balls as a child, his most recent exploit was pissing from the observation deck of the Burj Khalifa in Dubai where he was dubbed the “Sultan of Streams” by the local natives.
When not acting as a master wordsmith with Snatch, McSeesterson enjoys farting up local eateries and leaving gratuities that only contain the number nine. When asked about her favorite activities McSeesterson has been quoted as saying, “Watching someone eat a crop dusted cobb salad…” is something that she “enjoys immensely…” She has also described a good fart as “Eerily similar to a three act play structure…” which has made her “More cognizant as an author with regards to timing and pacing…”